My Craigslist Personal Ad

I was bored one night a few years ago, and decided to write a random post on Craigslist.

My Craigslist Ad

June 11, 2009 at 11:32 pm

Lowered Expectations

I am a girl looking for a guy that is NOT on Craigslist…

So…I’m really confused here. Well, not really. I see ads that say “Looking for a NORMAL person”. After reading many ads on this website, I have concluded that there are not many “normal” people that post to this site. Myself included.

Anyway…here’s some junk about me: I complain about EVERYTHING. No, seriously. I complain about my food, the weather, the noise, screaming kids, my hair, my clothes, the president, money, spatulas, doctors, dogs, cats, spiders, monkeys, spider monkeys, dirt, gum, books, pennies, men, women, stupid drivers, smart drivers, crazy drivers, NORMAL drivers, bus drivers, cab drivers, pilots, photographers, scientists, rocket scientists, rockets, bottle rockets, bottle caps, cap guns, pen caps, pens, pencils, crayons, markers, paper, trees, leaves, branches, twigs, bugs, ants, bees, blah blah blah.

I am OCD, ADHD, ADD, BPD, LOL, LMAO, BRB, ROFLMAO, TTYL, WTF.

I have Bipolar Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Schizo-Affective Disorder, and talk to inanimate objects.

I am a very angry person. I don’t play well with others. I prefer to be ALONE or by myself. Whichever mood I am in. Don’t try to tell me what to do because I won’t listen anyway. I will do it MY way, and when it all goes wrong, I will get pissed off and throw things.

I don’t like working. Having a job SUCKS. A LOT.

In my spare time, I like to sleep. So I don’t have to deal with reality, cause it SUCKS.

When I am awake, I like doing things that don’t suck. Like listening to music. I like rock and punk and punk rock. Social Distortion, Static X, Mudvayne…..stuff in that category. I also like beating the crap out of old junk with baseball bats.

Ok, so here’s the important stuff… I have ten fingers and ten toes. My hair is short and brown. I have hazel eyes, (which I have two of). I am 110 pounds and I am 5’4″tall.

If you read through this entire post, and you aren’t completely confused…..congratulations. I would love to meet you.

Location: Narnia
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Ironically, I got back together with my high school sweetheart only 3 days after posting this ad on Craigslist. We are still blissfully married:)

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jason Poage
    Feb 25, 2013 @ 17:28:04

    Lol, now that’s funny!

    Reply

  2. Jennifer M
    Feb 25, 2013 @ 18:00:55

    Thanks Jason:) I spent A LOT of my free time perusing ads on Craigslist in 2009 out of boredom. Some of them left me laughing, and most of them left me saying WTF! So, I figured I would add one of my own, just for fun:)

    Oh, and thanks for checking out my blog!

    Reply

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